Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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