Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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