i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
