dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
