you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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