What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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