I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
