If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I died a long time ago.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize