Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
