mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
