so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
