No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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