If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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