Dual....:-)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
