just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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