My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
