I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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