butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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