I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
