if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
