During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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