a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
