Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
