She announced her abortion via fbk
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
