You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
