Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
