It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
