When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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