Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
