well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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