went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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