Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
