Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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