Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
