I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
