ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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