If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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