I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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