One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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