two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
