How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.