all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!