yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
