I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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