he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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