So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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