hotel room ftw
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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