She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
