so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.