A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.