if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.