I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
