is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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