i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
