she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
