I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
