my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
