Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
