He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
