I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They took my balls.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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