Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
