you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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