Someone shit on the floor
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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