Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there was a trapeze. enough said
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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