Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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