Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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