good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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