I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
