ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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