I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
