when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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